I wish I was invincible

Right now,I am a mess.No,I genuinely am.I can not fathom this any more than I can read braille for the blind.You're not getting this.I need you right now more than I ever have,more than I probably ever will,and you're not here.I feel so alone and it's the world against Crystal.All I do anymore is weep over you.I'm sick of it.I want you gone forever.I want to never think of you nor have to hear your name.You are nothing to me but a memory,why I am STILL having a hard time with this.Sometimes I wish I could just sleep until eternity to make all of my problems go away.I can't stomach this.I'm incredibly weak right now.Physically and mentally.I want to just run away and escape your existence.All you do is bring me down.Truth be told,I hate you.a;lekstmga;klrearlkjdng;lkrb
God.
I can't take this.I just want a moment of peace.If dying is what it takes,then by all means someone fucking kill me already.I'm sure it beats this.You don't know what it's like to have this constant battle between yourself over and over and over again.It's all I think about,it's all I breathe.Before I fall asleep at night,I lay there prolonging the feeling of you,but I know it will soon arrive.The reason why I never come to you about it,is because I'm so afraid of looking weak,although I am.I long to differ than how I am perceived aka Crystal's weak over him.
Truth is,I am.If you know this,good for you.I hope you're happy.Notice,all I ever did was help you.Worry about you.Wish you luck,nothing more,nothing less.Well let me say,I'm through being the nice guy all the time.It gets me no where but a few bruises and broken bones.Not to mention severe depression and anxiety attacks.I bet you didn't know that.I hope you're happy with the mess you've made.I am getting past this shit whether or not you like it.I'm stronger than you think,more than I give myself credit for.Just watch me overcome this,and you'll look back and regret what you did.Loser.Goodbye!