Catch up,Katsup,Ketchup?

Woah.Whata week this has been.But let's start with the crummy time I was going through in Florida.I wrote this while I was there,but never entered it as a post.But it's about 5 days old.And I thought I'd share it!

"Nice talk" so what was it again "On space,In space?!"
"NO,POPS!" it's called "Myspace"ahhahaha wow...
I want to say this has been the busiest week by far,but then I'd be lying.It has been a ridiculously legit one though,that's safe to say.Your eyes are pacing these letters,these words,these typed manufactured,semi-constructive thoughts,which fulfill this content.It's not an unscripted essay,this is me,spilling my unrevealed thoughts,to a computer screen...So,I've been residing in Florida,my heart is in Virginia but I can't escape to get to Italy just yet.I've been faced with some of the most difficult obstacles I have ever had to endure in a while.That's not over-exaggerating,believe me.Going to my uncle's funeral was not exactly my cup of tea.Everyone knows that.I've always been the black sheep in the herd,the one who holds everything bottled up,usually resorting in bad tempers.Either that,or leading my emotions off to some Neanderthal state of mind resorting later on in life through business situations.I can't say I have cried that much in my life,but I have.Only once I can recall.I'm feeling quite dreary and I don't fancy it at all.Spending numerous amounts of waste full days doing nothing and sleeping around make you that way.Not in Florida,no.Florida is "the state that never sleeps"(Only without the "the",that's New York).I have been physically and emotionally impaired for some time now.I want to get back to things I enjoy.But lately it's been Crystal do this,Crystal do that.When can I ever have enough time for myself anymore?Maybe it's this staying with my pops that's made me this way.Who knows.I can barely strike up a good conversation anymore.Nonetheless type this.Have I lost all sanity?All pride?Or is this just another annual reality check?Eh,WHO KNOWS.All I know is I'm sick of life lessons and all that.I don't think my shit don't stink,and life is hunkey-dory,but what I do know is,I need a fucking break.I can't take this guilt trip of NOT doing anything at all.That's just it.I need to not do anything.I'm always on the go.Go go go go.My pops is 40 something years older than me,and I feel he's almost 20 again!That's definitely saying something about my immune system.All the glitches are not in sync as should be.My system is failing,about to launch crash mode.There's no fixing me.You hop on that plane,and you wake up in Orlando,I felt like an infant.Searching this town,observing,acting as one with the crowd.For once.I wasn't the person behind the lens,I was one.One?One.One with mankind,one with the universe.You'd never recognize me in this city.That's how unbelievably corporate Orlando is.Either you're in or you're out.Fortunate for me,I was in.Not by choice though.I got off the plan,it was mini L.A.X. there I stood at baggage claim just hoping for her to find me.Waiting,anticipating.I kind of just bopped around,and was very nonchalant.Heck,I just "went with the flow" literally.That's how loose this city is.I'm not quiet sure if I like it or dislike it.I can't pinpoint what it is that makes me miss Virginia.Maybe it's that I'm more free there than anywhere else.But there is not good for me.It's not logical.I don't eat three meals a day like I do here.Here is where(in all aspects)I need to be.I can't get over Alex though.I did it.I told him today(no pun-intended) that we should stop talking.Why,he asked.I don't know.We just should.I'm getting no where with you and you know it.I can't keep praying and wishing for this ideal nothing.It's not healthy.Neither am I though.Whatever.Shit happens,right?That's what they all say.That's why I feel inadequate here and one with everyone.People here are too uptight,and old souls.Not the good kind of old soul.When I'm there everything feels as it should and in place.I feel too wishy-washy and out of line here.Good thing,no one told me about the traffic jams.Sigh.We made nice talk.That's it.I need something.Something more out of life.No one understand this,not even I.If you read this,and not have a clue to as what the plot means,don't ask.I've given up.But what I can speak is,like in that movie me and pops saw today,"Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever give up"or something like that,in the words of Winston Churchill.Too late,I already have.What a disappointment I am right now.This isn't me.I'm not myself lately.I need someone to fix me,sad to say.I hate being dependent.Alex isn't helping,and to think I actually cried,ha.I'm done.What to do?I don't know.And that's my answer for everything these days.What's going on?!!@&*(&$#$!@$%@^I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.Without the sick,thank God I got my flu shot,huh?But fuck am I tired.Of everything.


And that's it.Man,looking back at it all,I seemed pretty damn depressed.Naw,I just needed to vent,and I did :)
As of right now,life is good.I'm making new friends,loving the weather,and the boy?
I don't know just yet.We'll see.