Betcha can't do it like me

You know what really tickles my fancy?NOT boys.Not money.Not even those silly little ridiculous love sappy stories you read about in romance novels,not anymore at least.Seeing others happy.That's all I truly want for anyone,whether I love you,or I just can't stand you.Once you're content and loving to others,then you can love yourself.There is no room for hatred and animosity towards anyone.I've come to grips with that.No lie.Especially after that afternoon loving nap that God so lovingly granted me,not really.It was more of a death threat,I mean,when you have dreams of your own mom dying in front of your eyes,you tend to stay awake more than you'll ever sleep again.It's pretty obvious I was shaken up.Anyone would be.Now,you tell me,after all these fabulous weeks of pure happiness,changing my life around for the better in so many aspects,and even making time to balance it all out,God decides to pop a bubble in my mind and allow my mind to wander so far off the road when I'm just trying to get some rest in peace while I take my annual snooze,and plants a freak nightmare of my mom dying?Why?I can't handle shit like that,I don't care whose "hero" I am or how strong people think I am,true that may be,but that really hit home.And the only legit reason I can come up with for coming across such a state of mind (I never wanted to envision) is that God has a better plan for me,and this is some sort of weird ass premonition,even if that means losing the one person I love more than life itself.Sorry,but that DOES NOT tickle my fancy,whatsoever.It was less than reality when it hit me between the eyes,I witnessed all of this,but I wasn't seeing with my eyes,just false apprehensions.Thank the Lord my mom is still here,I don't know what I'd do without her.My life,my heart,my savior.Life is too short to sell yourself short,people.Live it up.Let people know you care,before it's too late,and they're gone.