Good God eating gravy

Talk about a cycle huh?
Why am I back to this?
This fucking place where I just don't want to be at.
I can't run away from my problems,but who said facing them was
essential?Alright,maybe it is.But shit man,everyone needs someone on their
side,just for the record,ahem.And It makes me so incredibly sick to think about you.
And that damn addiction you had to feed and support over me.Your lover,your best friend,your everything.Or was I?I don't even know anymore if that's what I was to you.Near the end,you sure as hell never showed any sign of affection and sorts to make me believe you.That's the thing,when you're in love,why should you have to CONVINCE someone you're not hiding things and you love them?Exactly.You shouldn't Love is supposed to be effortless.At least,that's what I was looking for.When it comes down to it,maybe you just weren't what I needed.I yearned for more than what you had to offer,I can almost put my hand on it,that that is why you resorted to the things you did.You knew you weren't good enough and couldn't give me what I needed,but all the while,why did you ever doubt us,and second guess yourself?I don't understand.I never made you feel lower than me as a human or uncomfortable.Our love was enough to look beyond all standard.I even lowered myself for you,what do you blame yourself for that too?Shit,I don't see why people have to interrogate every detail.Just take it as it comes,and be grateful.So,therefore I resent you for making me look like a criminal.I still love you,it's been far too long.We've both been weak and through hell and back,but that kind of experience only makes you stronger,right?
So what was it that really went wrong?
Maybe,just maybe if you ever decide to talk and be rational with me again,we can start fresh.
At the same time,I can't stand you.
The fact of the matter is,what's said is said and I can't take it back.
No,I'm not sorry for the way things happended,I feel sorry for how you handled them,and it was like a punch to the face on my behalf.I took the fall for you and what do I get?
Maybe I'm overreacting and still proloning things I shouldn't,but are you really over me that much?Honestly?I have a strong feeling of my answer to that,but I'll keep to myself.
Get back to me on that.