Last night was the first night I cried since the New Year has begun.And let me tell you,I did not plan on it at all.This was supposed to be my year.For some reason,it really had no pain behind it or depression.It's like the tears flowed and all I had to do was keep breathing.All the work was done for me.I,embarrassing on my behalf,just can not seem to get over Dylan.I don't know what it is about that fucking kid.If I could just turn a switch on and off for him to get out of my thoughts,out of my life,I would in a heart beat.I really have no faith that anyone else can make me feel like he did,and well,people say,"how do you know if you haven't tried with anyone else?"First of all,I have.You have no idea.Those other guys just don't amount,sorry to say.Either that,or they just aren't "feeling it".And I can't sit around all these years being single not knowing if somebody,anybody else in this damn world has the potential to make me happy like he did.I just can't do it anymore.
Crystal
I am no masterpiece.